The traditions of connection that helped communities thrive.
When I was growing up, community was community, and it did not center around screens. Makes me sad that some kids will never get to experience this. In Native communities, especially in small ones, connection came from being together in person. People would visit each other without needing an invitation or sending a text first. Relatives and friends would stop by just to sit, drink coffee, laugh, and talk. Children would play outside until it got dark, and sometimes even after dark, running between houses, playing kick the can, climbing trees, building and riding bikes, or inventing games with whatever was around. Elders sat at kitchen tables and shared stories of the past. These stories carried teachings, humor, warnings, family history, and identity. Storytelling was more than just entertainment; it was a way to teach, to heal, and to keep our culture alive.
People shared meals at the table. Families gathered not just for celebrations or in mourning but also on regular evenings because simply being together mattered.
People listened to each other.
As kids, most of us did not spend all our time in front of a screen. We were expected to help out, watch younger siblings and cousins, or even uncles or aunties, play outside, and use our imagination. Children learned social skills by being with people in person. We learned patience, humor, responsibility, and how to understand emotions through real interactions.
Today, it has become much easier to put children in front of a TV, tablet, or phone. Technology entertains right away, but it often takes away opportunities to connect and learn those social cues. A child watching videos alone does not learn the same lessons as they would sitting with an elder, listening to stories, or playing outside with cousins.
In many homes, convenience has replaced togetherness, and over time, we have gotten used to being apart without noticing.
When the internet arrived and became a household item, change happened even faster. Suddenly, the world was at our fingertips. There were certainly benefits—information became easier to access, and families separated by distance could stay connected more easily. But while technology connected us in some ways, it slowly weakened relationships. People started spending less time with those nearby.
It is difficult to measure what we have lost because the change happened gradually. In Native communities, that loss feels especially significant because storytelling, gathering, and relationships have always been at the heart of our culture, identity, and survival. Technology itself is not the problem. The challenge begins when convenience replaces connection, and screens start taking the place of the conversations, stories, and relationships that once brought our people together.
Remember, screens are just tools, and they were never meant to replace community.
I feel there is still hope because we can rebuild our connections as a new generation of adults and parents. It starts with making intentional choices like sitting together at meals again and visiting one another. Listen to stories. Create spaces where people feel noticed and supported. Turn off phones long enough to really hear each other. Gather not just during hard times, but also on ordinary days. Teach games, traditions, songs, and stories in person instead of through a screen.
Communities heal when people come back together. Healing happens when all are respected, when children are guided, when laughter fills kitchens and gathering places again, and when stories are shared. Before screens, we had stories, and maybe those stories still show us the way back to each other. Rebuilding those connections is at the heart of creating stronger families, stronger leaders, and stronger communities for future generations.